Since infancy and childhood are the very important periods of a person’s development, you want to make sure that the person who spends the most time with your children, that is your domestic worker, is on the same page with you. Different age groups have different training needs, such as you might want your 2-year-old to stop using diapers and learn to go to toilet, and you would want your 6-year-old to learn to share with his younger sister. Learn how you can get your helper to train your children with you!
For infants or young children
It is usually the age when children learn the most things. For example, they would learn to stop crying for their parents or helpers to feed them at night, they would learn to go to the toilet, they would learn to use proper spoons and forks, etc. There is usually a standard timeline for children’s development, such as they will know how to say simple words when they are one year old, and they will be out of diapers by the age of two, but of course it depends on the family and the availability of resources.
As a parent, you would want your kid to not be too late in these developments so he/she can catch up with other children. It might be hard for your helper to assist you in these trainings. Training can cause a lot of additional troubles, such as when your toddler is learning to wear a diaper, he/she might accidentally wet his/her pants in the beginning, and your helper would not want that, because it is a lot of extra dirty work for her. You should explain to her that it is also in her best interest that the child is trained to develop. Think about it, your helper would not want to deal with a five-year-old child still on diapers!
However, you would also have to cooperate. When you come home from work, you might see scenes of your children crying and refusing to eat. Instead of accusing your helper of neglecting the children, you should understand that your helper is just trying to get your children to stop eating baby food and start eating vegetables. Of course there will be a lot of crying and tantrums involved when your child is deprived of his favourite food, you have to understand that your helper must neglect your child’s temper if she is determined to train him/her.
For learning to speak, you can ask your helper to teach your children simple words or simple phrases while talking to them. However, they are usually not first language speakers of these languages, be it English or Cantonese, so you have to correct your child’s pronunciation maybe at a certain point of time.
In academics
When your children reach the school age, maybe your helper will be assisting your children with school work. It is especially the case when some local families hire Filipino domestic workers to train their children in English, or when the helper has an undergraduate degree.
The issue you should look out for is the way your helper teaches your children. To finish the task more quickly, the helper might just feed your children with the answers without asking them to think themselves. If your children are used to this, they will never be able to think on their own feet, and they will never learn the knowledge.
Your helper might also just teach according to the book and reject your children’s answers when they deviate from the standard answers. This can also discourage your children’s creative development. You should talk with your helper to find the best way to teach your children. Some employers will look for helpers with a degree in education specifically if they are hiring them to tutor their children. Some employers will just hire another private tutor to teach their children. Find the best way for yourself!
Training values and habits
Even though your children might be very good at academics, values and habits are still the most important components of a person. Do you realize that your children are becoming more condescending? Do you realize that they do not have the habit of saying thank you? It might be because they are too used to being served by your helper.
To your helper, the children might be her “little bosses”. She feels like she has to entertain every of their demands. You should tell her that she is much older than your children and that she deserves proper respect from your children. You should empower her to refuse to answer your children’s unreasonable demand and to demand polite treatment from your children. Tell her that in the end, if your children are not polite, she is the one to suffer because she will be facing them every day.
Therefore, while hiring a helper to train your children, take her education background into consideration. Also, you should take extra care of your helper’s health, because her health will also affect your children’s health.
